The Most Important Friends with Benefits Rules

Erica Caparelli for Shape

What Are the Rules of Friends with Benefits?

Even though this type of relationship has a specific name and some general parameters, there are no specific friends with benefits rules that automatically apply. All relationships are different, and as such, will have their own rules.

"I like to think of relationships as a blank canvas — they start out blank, with no rules," says Erica Caparelli, licensed master social worker and counselor at A Good Place Therapy. "Each person brings their own sets of wants, needs, and boundaries onto that canvas, and the people involved decide on — negotiate — the best arrangement that fits their unique personalities. By doing this, they create their own unique art piece. In Western society, we live in a culture that normalizes monogamy as the standard of romantic relationships… but there are many, many, different types of relationship styles out there: monogamy, open, non-monogamy, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, just to name a few."


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