How To Stay Motivated To Achieve Your Goals (Even when you're not in the mood to do anything!)
We’ve all been there before. We set New Year’s Resolutions with the best intentions, promising ourselves that “this will be our year!” We hydrate, we meditate, we even pick up the calls that we normally send to voicemail (sorry, mom!) But by day 5, our motivation to be our best self, slowly slides back to the couch. Suddenly, we’re less focused on our goals, and more focused on figuring out what that British Bakeoff show is all about. See, no matter how motivated we are when we begin a new goal, there are always times when we’re less than thrilled to take action.
Maybe the overwhelm of a large project prevents you from taking that first step, so you decide to "start tomorrow." Maybe you start to judge yourself, wondering whether you’re “lazy” or “unmotivated.” Maybe that judgment goes into a full-scale spiral where you question why you feel sluggish while others seem to be focused, organized, and goal-oriented. “Is it superior self-control? Do they have more motivation muscles? Are they inherently more inspired?”
The answer to all of these questions is “no.”
You’re human. You’re normal. You just need a little help.
So if this is so common, why do we struggle with this issue?
We don’t know what we don’t know
Most of us were never taught these types of skills. Sure, I know the capitals of all fifty states and I can hold my own in long division, but the skills associated with emotional resilience and executive functioning are never formally taught. It’s assumed that you came out of the womb knowing how to manage your time, prioritize, and push through discomfort. We don’t plan our time, or if we do, we don’t learn how to stick to the plan. We take on too much and then feel pulled in too many directions. Many of us unconsciously believe that we “should” be doing something other than what we want, we procrastinate to avoid pain, or we don’t believe we deserve to take time for ourselves and our goals. The truth is that motivation isn’t about productivity, it’s the failure to use your personal power, giving up your freedom in the process. I credit therapy for teaching me most of what I didn’t learn in school. (BTW, if you’d like support with your goals, the AGP Therapy Team is accepting new clients).
As a therapist, my job is to keep my clients accountable to their highest vision of themselves. That means in those moments when their fears, self-doubt, or Netflix account is calling their name, I remind them of the reasons why they wanted to achieve their goals in the first place. In my personal experience and with clients, I find that those with inconsistent motivation fall into two groups:
Those who need the organizational skills to take action
Those who need to tap into their motivation bank account
For those who need the organizational skills, I’ll be writing a separate post just for you (make sure you’re subscribed to the newsletter!)
Now, for those in group #2 who struggle to maintain motivation- The good news is that unlike an actual bank account, a motivation bank account doesn’t have any overdraft fees. That means, you can draw on your motivation as much as you need, whenever you need it. So here’s the key to your vault: Your chances of achieving your goal are only as strong as your reasons to do it.
What does that mean? If your goal is "to eat healthy," you’re not going to do it. Why? Because that’s a boring goal! But if your goal is: “to eat healthy so that you feel great, have more energy for fun things, stop wasting money on takeout, and save money for your upcoming vacation” you’re way more likely to achieve it. See, motivation is an emotion. And, like any emotion, it fluctuates. By creating a list of reasons why you want to achieve this goal now, you can tap into your motivation bank on command.
I’ve created a worksheet to walk you through the steps I use myself and with clients. It’s the tool we use to stay motivated to achieve our goals. Download it below and let me know your thoughts. I can’t wait to hear how it goes!